Days of Life 15-18 Mom has been hit by the mastitis truck

Good morning all!  This is Malala's mom, Angie.  I felt it was appropriate for me to write this post as there may be various rants of cursing, and I just don't allow Malala to type that language with her tiny, chaste fingers.

You may be thinking, Gosh what has happened to Malala's posts?  Is she getting lazy growing in her isolette?  The answer is no.  Her mom, aka me, has been hit by the freight train, truck, tanker, etc called Mastitis.  If you are one of the 33% of child bearing females that have experienced mastitis you have probably just made a collective gasp or "ugh" sound in solidarity.  I consider myself a fairly tough cookie, yet I wanted to immediately stop with the attempts to breast feed and machete my bosom off.  I've tried to explain what it feels like- systematically very similar to the flu with an added soul crushing component, and locally like an extensive web of razors has been implanted into your chest.

Because I know my male colleagues may read this, I won't go into details on what exactly mastitis is BUT I caution every male out there that if hear about your wife/girlfriend/sister/etc. getting it after birth, the best thing you can do is take care of everything else in her life, buy her flowers, and assume you know nothing and will never experience the level of pain and suffering and just leave it at that. No talking.

Only this could make razor boobs worth it.  

So what has the little one been up to?   Well Monday, she crossed the big 3lb threshold!!! Boo ya! What does 3 lbs look like?  I dare you to google it.  It will not help you in any way figure out how big Malala is, but it is entertaining.  You will find disgusting blobs of fat, a bundle of bananas, what I can only figure is a bag of flour or cocaine, and an interesting Stanely Tucci flick.  Random

 The team of residents have informed me that Malala is now considered boring for them.  Meaning she was super exciting when they thought they could learn about all of her medical maladies, but now that she is doing awesome and on the plan to growth and immunity building she is a snoozer.  I am proud to have such a boring child.  I mean... look at her.

Angelic, no?

 However she has transformed before our ears from a weak sounding kitten to a savage panther.  We called her squeaks for a while because of her cute little cry.  Now she shrieks.  All the new nurses looks at her in the photo above and tell me how sweet she is.  Of course, I say.  Then I wait.  Usually one or two cares in, the nurse is in awe of her cry. I'm sure feeling like a little bit of a failure inside because of her baby attitude.  It feels good that there's no one that can soothe her like me, but even so she sometimes she reaches her breaking point:

Baby fisticuffs

Malala will return to her regularly scheduled blogging soon!